“Mambo vipi, my people! I hope mko fiti. Ebu, let’s have a real chat, a “kitchen table talk” about this crazy, modern life we’re all trying to navigate. Siku hizi, life inakuja na manual complicated kuliko TV ya jirani, si ndio? (These days, life comes with a manual more complicated than the neighbour’s TV, right?)
We’ve got smartphones that are smarter than some of us (no shade!), and we can order pizza with a tap. Life is “digitali” and supposedly easier. But aki, with all this “progress,” sometimes our stress levels zinagonga ceiling! We’re chasing a life that looks good on the ‘gram, but deep down, something feels… off.
So, today, let’s try and figure out what’s up with these modern times – the good, the bad, and the downright “noma” (crazy/problematic). And more importantly, let’s see if we can “dunda” some old-school wisdom, maybe even from “shosho” (grandma), to help us chill and actually enjoy this “safari” (journey) called life. Leggo!
Hizi Shida za Siku Hizi, Manze!
Okay, so modern life has brought us some amazing things – medical breakthroughs, a Netflix queue longer than the Thika Road jam, the ability to argue with strangers worldwide… you know, the essentials! But alongside these “blessings,” it’s also dished out a fresh serving of headaches. Let’s unwrap a few:
1. The “Perfection” Pressure Cooker
Siku hizi, everyone expects perfection. From our careers to our relationships, even our selfies – everything has to be #goals. Science is promising to solve all our problems, from bad hair days to, well, maybe even death one day! The “shida” is, life isn’t a perfectly curated Instagram feed. So, when things aren’t perfect (which is, like, always), we feel extra frustrated, like we’ve personally failed the “Modern Life Exam.” We end up despising our very real, very normal, imperfect lives.
2. “Positive Vibes Only” – Until You Explode!
There’s this massive pressure to always be cheerful, upbeat, and “living your best life.” “Good vibes only!” they scream. But manze, life isn’t always sunshine and lollipops. Sometimes it’s more like “gumboots na mvu” (gumboots and rain). When our forced optimism meets reality (like that matatu that just cut you off), it often flips straight to anger or major irritation. Plus, who can you really connect with if you’re always pretending everything is “fiti barida” (perfectly cool)? Real connection often happens when we admit things are a bit “chafua” (messy).
3. Individualism: “Me, Myself, and My Hustle”
Back in the day, your identity was kinda set: your family, your village, your clan. Nowadays? It’s all about “What do you do?” Our jobs have become our identity. Sounds empowering, “lakini” (but) it’s also super unstable. Lose your job, and boom, identity crisis! Plus, it turns life into a constant competition. We end up secretly hoping our “mabeste” (friends) don’t get too successful, “ndio tusikae nyuma sana” (so we don’t look too far behind). And what about life outside work? Family, hobbies? “Hazina maana?” (They don’t matter?) This “me-me-me” vibe can be surprisingly lonely.
4. Everyone a Superstar? (The “Exceptionalism” Trap)
Modern life sells us this dream: “You can be anything! You are special! Go conquer the world!” It’s meant to be inspiring, “kumbe” (but actually) it’s often a recipe for feeling like a failure. Newsflash: most of us are beautifully, wonderfully ordinary. By definition, not everyone can be exceptional in everything. So we end up feeling “less than” because we haven’t become a billionaire astronaut by 30. We start hating our perfectly decent lives and envying the 0.01% who “made it.”
5. Meritocracy: “You Get What You Deserve”… Or Do You?
The idea is noble: if you’re talented and work hard, you’ll succeed, no matter your background. A “good society” is a meritocratic one, “si ndio?” (right?). But here’s the flip side: if those at the top deserve their success, then those at the bottom must deserve their failure. Ouch. Suddenly, being poor or struggling isn’t just “bad luck” (unfortunate), it’s a sign you’re a “loser.” That’s a heavy burden, “haki.”
6. “Humans First!” (The Anthropocentrism Issue)
We’ve kind of put ourselves – humanity – at the very top of the pyramid. Everything revolves around us. In the old days, people looked up to gods, nature, the universe – things bigger than themselves. This actually helped keep human egos in check. Now that we are the biggest deal around, we spend all our time comparing ourselves to other humans. Cue massive envy and feeling inadequate. We’ve lost the comfort of feeling “beautifully unimportant” in a vast cosmos.
7. Romanticism: The Search for a Hollywood “Happily Ever After”
Modern love is serious business. It’s not just about companionship or raising kids anymore. We expect our partner to be our soulmate, best friend, therapist, financial advisor, and a superhero in bed – all in one! This “Romantic” ideal, pushed by movies and songs, puts an impossible load on one person. When they (inevitably) fall short, we think we picked the “wrong one,” instead of realizing our expectations were sky-high. Result? More loneliness and less actual loving.
8. The “New New Thing” Addiction (Novelty Overload)
We’re obsessed with what’s new. New phone, new trends, new “news.” Being “old-fashioned” is like a social disease. Youth is worshipped because it’s “new.” But what about timeless wisdom? What about things that last? This constant chase for novelty can leave us feeling shallow, scattered, and always distracted, never really appreciating the “now” or the wisdom of the “then.”
Phew! “Hizo ni shida mob, eh?” (Those are many problems, huh?) But don’t despair, “wazito” (important/heavy people, slang for friends). There’s always a way to “songa mbele” (move forward).
Where Can We Find Wisdom Now?
Okay, so modern life can be a bit of a “kichwa ngumu” (hard head/stubborn problem). But fear not! There are some classic, time-tested ideas – call them “consolations” or “life hacks from shosho” – that can help us find our balance and maybe even a bit of wisdom.
1. Embrace Your “Factory Faults” (Brokenness)
This whole “perfection” story? “Ni story za jaba” (It’s nonsense). For thousands of years, everyone knew humans are fundamentally flawed, “tuko na kasoro” (we have defects). Life is messy. We make mistakes. That’s the default setting! Accepting our “brokenness” (and everyone else’s) makes life’s screw-ups feel normal, not like a personal curse. And when good things happen? Bonus! We can even thank “Original Sin” for giving us a poetic excuse – we’ve been a bit “doomed” from the start, so relax, nobody is perfect.
2. It’s Okay to Feel “Blue” Sometimes (Melancholia Universalis)
This pressure to be “happy happy” all the time? “Eish!” Life has sad parts, for everyone. Loved ones get sick, dreams don’t always pan out, “matatus splash mchanga kwa sura yako” (matatus splash mud on your face). It’s universal. Accepting this “universal melancholy” isn’t about being depressed; it’s about being real. It actually helps you appreciate the good moments more – like that perfectly brewed cup of “chai” or a genuine laugh with a friend. Think of it as “cheerful despair” – life is tough, but hey, look, a butterfly!
3. “Harambee” for the Soul (Dependence)
This “I, me, myself” song can get lonely. We need each other. Our identity isn’t just about our personal hustle; it’s also about what we build together, what we receive from others (family, community, culture). Think of those old cathedral builders – everyone played a small part in something huge. Maybe we can’t all build cathedrals, but we can contribute to something bigger than our own selfie. Let’s be proud of “us,” not just “me.” It takes the pressure off being a solo superstar.
4. Find the “Wow” in the Ordinary
Forget chasing “extraordinary” all the time. There’s so much beauty and heroism in everyday life, if we just open our “maichos” (eyes). Keeping a home clean, raising decent kids, being a good friend, even just managing not to lose your cool in traffic – that’s heroic stuff, man! Painters like Vermeer saw it. Why can’t we? Appreciate that simple “sukuma wiki” (kale) prepared with love, or the way the sun hits the jacaranda trees. Ordinary can be pretty awesome.
5. Sometimes, “Sh*t Happens” (The Wisdom of Tragedy)
Meritocracy says “winners deserve to win, losers deserve to lose.” But the ancient Greeks knew better. They had “tragedy” – plays where good people still failed, often due to bad luck or a small mistake. Life isn’t always fair. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, things go south. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It means “fate” or “chance” (or just “life”) threw you a curveball. So, let’s have more compassion for ourselves and others when things don’t work out.
6. Look Up, Look Out! (Transcendence)
We’re so focused on our human dramas, we forget there’s a whole universe out there! Stargazing, watching a sunset over the Ngong Hills, even observing a busy ant – these things connect us to something bigger. Suddenly, your “shida ndogo ndogo” (small small problems) don’t seem so all-consuming. It’s like zooming out and realizing you’re a tiny, beautiful part of a massive, amazing picture. That’s a relief, “si unacheki?” (you see?).
7. Aim for “Good Enough,” Not “Perfect Angel”
Especially in relationships, this chase for “The One” who is perfect in every way? “Itakuchokesha!” (It will tire you out!). A British shrink called Winnicott talked about the “good enough” parent. We can aim for “good enough” lives, “good enough” relationships, “good enough” careers. Not perfect, but good enough to bring joy, stability, and meaning. Compromise isn’t failure; it’s wisdom. It means you’re living in the real world, not a fairy tale.
8. “Same WhatsApp Group” (The Comfort of Recurrence)
Obsessed with “new”? “Chill!” So much of life is cyclical. Crises happen, people make mistakes, relationships have ups and downs – it’s been happening since “Adam na Eva.” Nature teaches us this every day: seasons change, things grow, they fade, they return. Knowing that your struggles aren’t entirely new, that others have walked similar paths, can be incredibly comforting. It’s like we’re all in the “same WhatsApp group” of human experience.
So, Mbele Ikoje?
Look, these aren’t magic spells to make all our modern anxieties disappear “kama magic.” They are more like different pairs of glasses we can try on to see life a bit more clearly, a bit more kindly. It’s about taking some of that timeless wisdom, maybe dusting it off, and seeing how it fits into our “digitali” world.
It’s about choosing our perspective. We can keep chasing an impossible ideal that leaves us feeling “choka mbaya” (terribly tired/fed up), or we can embrace our perfectly imperfect lives, find joy in the ordinary, lean on each other, and remember that we’re all just trying to figure this thing out.
So, “my people,” let’s try to be a bit kinder to ourselves, a bit more realistic, and maybe, just maybe, a bit wiser. “Ama namna gani?” (Or what do you think?)
